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Personal inconveniences for pleasing others
September 16, 2010  |  radhanath-swami

On his journey northeast to Nepal, Richard (now Radhanath Swami) arrived at Patna and met Narayan Prasad and his guru Rama Sevaka Swami. Rama Sevaka Swami was a practicing bhakti yogi and his devotion to Lord Rama moved Richard deeply. He learnt about the behavior of an honest and genuine holy man.

While staying at Rama Sevaka Swami’s temple, one evening a visiting sadhu offered to cook for all. He cooked kichari made with rice, mung, and some potatoes. With the first bite, Richard (now Radhanath Swami)’s mouth blazed, as the kichari was unbearably spicy. While eating the kichari, Richard was sweating profusely, and in the excruciating pain he hiccupped uncontrollably. The others however were enjoying it so much they never could have dreamt of Richard’s suffering. The cook insisted on serving seconds and then thirds. Richard’s attempt to block his plate failed, and the cook was very pleased with Richard’s honoring the food.

Ever since he was a child, Richard (now Radhanath Swami) had always felt bad when he caused other people sorrow. So intent was the cook on pleasing them that Richard didn’t have the heart to reveal the pain the cook was causing him. Richard had tears in his eyes caused by the kichari, but the cook thought Richard was crying in gratitude. Radhanath Swami narrates in his autobiography:

“Yes, I’m crying, and it may as well be in gratitude, as he believes. To please others is not always easy, but it is part of my deepest nature to wish to do so. Enduring the burning pain of that food was a small price to please this sadhu.”

Pleasing others is difficult. I may want to please someone by taking him out for a movie. However he may like a game of cricket instead. A critical aspect of pleasing others, I now learn from Radhanath Swami, is to understand what the other person wants. I can’t impose my liking or dislikes on another and expect him to like the same. We are all uniquely different. Each one of us has unique likes and dislikes. I grew up hating one vegetable preparation, karela, but my family loved it. I could never understand how they enjoyed it so much while they too were perplexed by my dislike for the prep. I now learn that an essential part of pleasing others is to be willing to give up our conceptions of likes and dislikes, and accept some inconveniences voluntarily.

I guess for a person to be a spiritual leader of the stature of Radhanath Swami, one has to really extend oneself to please others. I wonder how Richard who loved to live in solitude, now as Radhanath Swami manages a huge community of devotees and inspires them in their spiritual lives. He is constantly surrounded by people who approach him for advice and guidance. His interactions leave people happy and encouraged. But that must be quite a price to pay. His privacy and comforts are disturbed, as he has to always extend himself for others.  But the same mood that drove Richard is now inspiring Radhanath Swami- to serve others even if it means personal inconveniences.

Radhanath Swami’s account reminds me of an interesting experience I had in college. My two friends had a big argument and they swore never to talk to each other. Later they individually felt and confided to me in private that I should mediate and settle the dispute. I didn’t want to and was disgusted with the squabbles that they always had. Reluctantly, with great struggle I called for a meeting and I spent time trying to make each person appreciate the other. It took hours and in the end both of them were crying tears of gratitude to me, thanking me for resolving their misunderstanding. Now after reading Radhanath Swami’s autobiography I wonder if with great reluctance to please someone, I actually landed up pleasing them, how much more meaningful my life would be if I actually intend to please and serve others.

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127 Comments


  1. yes its very true.To please others is very difficult.Thanks to Radhanath Swami such a nice insights.

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  2. these things are exhibited b u mhrj , i am grateful to lord to get so close asssociation of mhrj in vani form.

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  3. M Pandu Rangayya Shetty

    Pleasing others leads to easily please Krishna. each and everyone is part and parcel of Krishna. Radhanath Swami having This point in his mind he tries to help and not to hurt others. The same, he teaches us. All glories to Radhanath Swami

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  4. very touching how Radhanath swami is so selfless and he is teaching all of us

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  5. Very inspiring and instructive. Ideal mood of gratitude to serve and please others.

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  6. Absolutely Relative

    Love means to serve… WOW!!!

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  7. very deep realizations by Radhanath Swami

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  8. if we always pleaase someone never casue cause pain to anyone it will really help to keep our relationship stronger we will become more humble

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  9. Doing this is so difficult sometimes.. Its a challenge to cultivate such a nice mood.!

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  10. Oh that was nice explanation to the aspect of pleasing others. I am finding it difficult to figure out what pleases those whom I know. It requires that I know these people well to please them. It is indeed tough.

    Hoping to sacrifice my personal convenience to know people well so that I can please them.

    thank you very much.

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  11. “To please others is not always easy, but it is part of my deepest nature to wish to do so.” swami ji your nature divine.

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  12. Thank you maharaj for explaing us that service to others is our sign of true love for them.

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  13. If we really try to please others we would really find lot of peace and happiness in our lives.

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  14. Very Insightful – accepting inconveniences for pleasing others requires the mood of servitude, of gratitude, of compassion. HH Radhanath Swami Maharaj is a shining example of all these wonderful qualities. Thank you so much Maharaj for these beautiful instructions.

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  15. True, without sacrifice one can not please others.

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  16. pleasing others also means shedding our ego and trying to submit ourselves to the will of others

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  17. Lord is pleased when we try to please others.It comes with willingness to sacrifice one’s self-interest.Only a selfless soullike Radhanath Maharaj can succeed towards this end.

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  18. Thank you for the article, explaining what is meant by pleasing others for the life history of Radhanath Swami Maharaj

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  19. Radhanath Swami is always bothered about the good and utimate spiritual upliftment of others. He stretches himself to any extend to achieve this.

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  20. Thank You Maharaj for teaching such and Important lesson from such a common act to maitain most difficult in this world RELATIONSHIP, only genuinely humble person can do this.

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  21. Siddharth Hindlekar

    It is very difficult to please others but the above article is packed with enough inspiration for us to contemplate & serve & please others…thank you radhanath swami

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  22. His Holiness Radhanath swami is really demonstrating ‘humility’ by his personal example. I love him because he is very much eager to make genuine friendship with all people.
    I seek blessings from him so that i may get mercy of Lord Krishna.

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  23. Maharaj always cares for others and we can see the effect …

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  24. This lesson is very important for all especially where hypocrisy and quarrel are daily symptoms.

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  25. hari bole it is very inspiring .

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  26. People just speak of pleasing others but we reaaly come to know from this incident from Radhanath swami what it takes to really please others. Thanks for sharing this wonderful episode from Radhanath swami’s life.

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  27. All glories to HHRNSM. Very inspiring and instructive. Ideal mood of gratitude to serve and please others

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